expect the best, accept the worst

It is critical for me to remember the following things in order to maintain my sanity:

1) Mom and Dad will always be the only ones to always be there.

2) Aside from Mom and Dad, dogs are the only creatures to be trusted. Ever.

3) Sleep as much as possible, no responsibilities should take precedent over sleeping.

4) Emotional distance is the key ingredient to any relationship. 

5) Eat a lot; Mom, Dad, and dogs will still love you when you are a repugnant cow.

6) Never get married for any reasons other than financial.

7) Never have children; all they will do is resent you for it. Plus, children are sticky and nauseating. 

Merry Christmas, I'm broke.

oh good

Hello 3 in the morning! It is so good to see you again, you know, being in bed with a farting bullmastiff and wearing sweatpants really isn't the same without you!  

I am now faced with three options: 

1) watch TV

2) rip pages out of my clinical textbook for veterinary technicians

3) play zelda

The only reason I have not already jumped to #3 is because I don't really feel like watching the opening cut-scenes of Ocarina of Time all over again.  I think the 754th time might be a little tired. I hate myself for thinking that.

I get to see Chi Chi tomorrow!

firethroat

it is 6 in the morning and i don't have work until 1.  there is a small mentally handicapped, deaf, cross-eyed kitten running around my room, his name is windsor.  i am agonizing over the dumbest shit that i have absolutely no control over because i've got nothing better to think/care about.  i realize that whenever i am feeling even a little bit shitty, i take every measure possible to make sure i sink deeper and deeper into a wah baby self-pitty party. that's what i'm up to, blogging seems so suitable.  

dear everything: quit it.

oh, hello

while i really like the idea of having an internet blog, i am very bad at managing one.  luckily, no one has been holding their breath since december of 2007 to read my next post.  

anyway, i can't sleep lately and have been staying awake until 1-3am every night doing absolutely nothing.  i have read a lot about breed histories, various bands that i like, crafting, politics and facebook profiles of people i went to high school with (even some people from mount vernon).  i have also done some painting, ordered a lot of things off ebay, played a couple of online video games, and taken one million pictures of my dogs. i've gotten awfully good at watching tv and burning CDs, and have harvested acres of hostility and angst.  sometimes i worry a little bit about that last one, but shrugging off reasoning is much easier than letting go of grudges.  

in the real world, things have not been particularly thrilling, but i have been feeling myself slip into a much more comfortable place than i was in this time last year.  i am enjoying my friendships without reservation, leaving my bedroom with relative ease, socializing without [paralyzing] anxiety, working less and sort of getting an education.  this is all very neat and exciting for me, feeling content with yourself makes reflection of every "same ole' same ole'" day much less dejecting (TALK ABOUT STATING THE OBVIOUS!!).  so that's refreshing.  

in other news: i have no money and in a drunken stupor i kicked a large crack in my own windshield from my passenger seat of my car a few weeks ago.  i do not have glass insurance and soon shit is going to start freezing and cracking more.  i also have 

two bills for no-show doctor appointments that come to a grand total of $170 (Edith Lundquist means business, time is money!!).  these two lovely expenses on top of paying off my laptop, supporting a cigarette addiction, pursuing alcoholism, gas for my daily trips to and from troy/albany, and my amorous relationship with sushi leave my wallet pretty baron. 

wah wah wah, whining spoiled middle-class italian american princess.

PS: